Year of the Spark: March 30
by Sparky Army
Summary: After all, what are we: Men, or mice? A humorous fic, next in a year's worth of Sparky-centric stories!


John POV craziness

_We, the Sparky Army, decree 2008 to be the Year of the Spark. We pledge to post a new sparky story or chapter of a sparky story every day from January 1, 2008 to December 31, 2008. Though the Powers the Be have removed Elizabeth Weir from the regular cast of Stargate Atlantis, we feel that she remains an integral part of the show, and that the relationship between her and John Sheppard is too obvious to be ignored. We hope that you, and anyone might happen to read these works, agree. _

_And if that isn't official enough for you, we don't know what is. Seriously, guys, we're just trying to have some fun--and show TPTB that Sparky is the way to go. So sit back and enjoy the 366 stories coming your way!_

Note from Author (fyd818): John third person POV craziness. Written at two in the morning, as a joke for my mother, but also as my next YotS. Also for _nogigglingmajor_, who requested some happy Sparky after my last very angsty one. Here you go! Thank you all for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

"_**Not**_** Mickey Mouse!"**

_fyd818_

John Sheppard glanced at his watch and forced himself not to tap his foot impatiently. He was supposed to meet Ronon Dex at his and Teyla's quarters at 1300 hours, and it was now ten after: he was late, but Ronon was even later.

With calmness he didn't feel inside, John reached out to press the door chime again. "C'mon, buddy, where are you?"

The door suddenly slid open, revealing Ronon on the other side of the door. "Inside, quick!" the Satedan said. Before John had a chance to do more than give him a puzzled look, Dex grabbed his shirtsleeve and dragged him into the room. The door whooshed shut behind him.

"What's going on?"

"We can't let it get out into the city." Ronon had his blaster drawn and was gazing around the room with that narrow-eyed glare Sheppard recognized as his predatory look.

"Let _what_ get out into the city?" His hand was already on the way up to his earpiece, and briefly he wished for a weapon. He wondered if he should tell Elizabeth to go lock herself in her office, or their quarters, because there was some very dangerous alien loose in the city.

"A mouse, John! It is a _mouse_!" Teyla's voice, coming from the corner of the room, drew John's attention in that direction.

He blinked, unsure of which startled him more – what he was hearing, or what he was seeing. "A – mouse?"

Teyla, her stomach noticeably bulging at six months pregnant, stood on a chair. Her skirts were hitched up to reveal bare feet, and her wide eyes were fixed on the floor. "It is a _mouse_, and it is in _my_ quarters."

John wondered if he was _dreaming_. This seemed totally impossible. "Teyla, are you _scared_ of mice?"

Ronon shot him a glance, then went back to his slow scan of the room. "Sheppard, mice in the Pegasus galaxy are not like the cute little fuzzy creatures in your Earth movies. These things are big, and they have really sharp teeth and most certainly are _not_ afraid to use them."

Now _John_ was feeling slightly unsettled. "How'd it get in?"

"I do not _know_!" Teyla said vehemently. "But I do know I want it _out_ of our home!"

John slowly scanned the room, not entirely sure _what_ exactly in the mouse category he was looking for, but willing to search all the same. "This is why you didn't answer the door?" He hoped Elizabeth didn't get wind of this. She didn't like mice – not even Jerry, from _Tom and Jerry._

"Teyla saw it just as the door chimed the first time. I've been trying to hunt it out the rest of the time." Dex crept a little closer to his wife, his head ducked low as he scanned the floor. "Love, I don't—"

The Athosian reached out to grab his shoulder. "There! It went under the bed!" She pointed.

Ronon dove to the floor, blaster firing as he impacted. The _zwoop_! was followed only a moment later by the sight of something streaking across the floor to disappear under the dresser across the room.

It was _huge!_ "Whoa, Ronon, you weren't kidding!" It was _definitely_ a good thing Elizabeth wasn't here, or she'd be up on the chair next to Teyla. "That thing _is_ big!"

Dex growled in frustration as Teyla moaned in an afflicted sort of way. The Satedan rocketed back to his feet, shooting John a "duh" look as he slowly inched toward the dresser. "Quiet!" he hissed. "I want to actually _get_ it this time."

John glanced at Teyla, who was looking rather pale as she stood on her chair. One hand was pressed against the wall for balance as the other protectively splayed over her pregnancy-swollen stomach. Her wide eyes met his briefly before darting back to her husband. "Careful, Ronon—" Her voice was a barely-audible whisper.

"I know. Just – gimme a second." He slowly sank to his knees, then fully stretched out on the floor. He sighted down the barrel toward the underside of the dresser—

The Evil Mouse shot out from under the dresser, straight for Ronon.

John ducked instinctively as Teyla screamed.

Ronon growled furiously and fired his blaster. The Evil Mouse stopped mid-flight and fell like a rock to land in a smoldering heap on the floor, just a few inches from Ronon's face.

Sheppard blinked at what was left of The Evil Mouse. _Whoa. That thing is – ugly big. And look at those teeth! That's certainly no Mickey Mouse. . . No wonder Teyla wanted it out of her quarters._

Ronon fluidly got to his feet and holstered his blaster. His head tipped to the side, he studied The Evil Mouse out of the corner of his eyes as he said reassuringly to Teyla, "It's okay, love, it's dead."

Teyla stood on her tiptoes, trying to peer over the bed. "You are sure?"

He chuckled and moved across the room to take her by the waist and gently lift her down from the chair. He darted a sideways look at Sheppard before quickly kissing his wife's upturned lips. "I'm sure. The Evil Mouse can't hurt you any more, love."

She smiled up at him, then turned her gaze to Sheppard. "I do not suppose Rodney would be willing to run a scan for any _other_ rodent activity in the city. . ."

Sheppard sighed and turned to the door. "Fine. We don't want The Evil Mouse's brothers and sisters invading your room. . ." _Or Elizabeth's and mine. She'd never let me hear the end of it._

Ronon's deep and Teyla's soft laughter followed him out of the room.

**-Atlantis-**

John sat straight up in bed, blinking his eyes rapidly as he tried to sort out his thoughts.

_That _was_ a dream?_ He puffed out a laugh as he shook his head and rubbed his eyes. _What am I saying? Of course it was a dream. There's no way Teyla Dex would be afraid of a _mouse_, even if it was the size of a squirrel and had the teeth of an alligator._

Elizabeth stirred and sat up next to him. "John? You okay?" Her hand gently brushed his shoulder.

John laughed again and shook his head. "Yeah, I'm good. I just had this crazy dream. I mean, I'm not kidding, it was really, really _crazy_. You wouldn't believe it."

"Hang on." Elizabeth leaned over to touch the lamp next to their bed to turn it on. "Okay, tell me about it." She reached out to take his hand and hold it between hers as she watched him expectantly, waiting for the story.

John turned to face her, opening his mouth to speak. But he never even got the first word out.

His wife's eyes went wide, staring past him toward the other side of the room. Her hand grabbed for his shoulder as she squealed out: "John, it's a _giant mouse!_"

_**-The End-**_


End file.
